Goodbye, New England Clam "Chow-dah"

This has been one extremely depressing sports year for me. Early in 2007 I traveled to Foxboro to witness the Jets - Patriots Wild Card Playoff game first hand at Gillette Stadium, and left with my tail in between my legs. Then, the Rangers went down in the Playoffs thanks to (at the time) Buffalo's Chris Drury with 7 seconds left. Then months later, the Mets treated me and the Shea Faithful to the biggest collapse in MLB history. Now, 7 games into the NFL season the Jets are all but finished, and the Patriots are trying to complete a perfect season with what may end up being the greatest football team ever assembeled. Like I have said to my cousin Ben, sports can make you feel as though you just pulled out of the driveway, and hit your dog.

But in 2004, when the Mets still stunk and the Jets lost in the Divisional Playoff game thanks to Herman Edwards crashing the metaphorical "bus" vs. the Steelers and killing everyone that was on it, I found peace in the fact that the Yankees (my most hated team at the time) lost to the Red Sox. Not only did they lose, but they blew a 3-0 lead, something that had never happened before in baseball history. It was moderately satisfying, yet a little pathetic. At the time though, it served as nyquill from the sports world. But now, things have changed. A New York sports franchise has not won a Championship since 2000 (Yanks over Mets), and since then the New England region has won 4 sports Championships, and if all goes well for them this year it will become 6. Enough is enough.

tom brady: posterchild for new england patriots; goat lover

I've reached the boiling point. I used to enjoy success from the Red Sox, however this does not happen anymore. I am so enraged by the Patriots fan base, and the entire Boston area fan base to as well, that I truly wish the Yankees could switch places with the Red Sox right now. There, I said it. If Mets fans would like to start calling me Benedict Arnold, then thats fine. History lesson sports fans, where was Benedict Arnold born? Norwich, Connecticuit. Where is Connecticuit located? New England. If Benedict Arnold were around today, would he be a Boston area sports fan? Yes. Case in point, Boston area/New England sports fans support traitors. Congratulations, you are all anti-American.

This was not an easy decision that I came to. I despise the Yankees, I always will. But now with this recent wave of success going to New England sports fans heads, every team from this hell-like region has become enemy numero uno. My hate has become so extreme, I will no longer acknowledge a few things that are in some way shape or form, associated with the New England area.

1.) Jimmy Fallon (movies and cd's)
2.) Dane Cook
3.) New England Clam Chowder
4.) Tea
5.) Hats that were made to look worn out and beat up
6.) The Departed (hardest thing to let go of)

this skit used to be funny. now? not so much

The list will continue to grow just like my hatred. I'm not going to feel happy for Red Sox fans whenever their team wins from now on, I'm not going to be rooting for Matt Ryan to win the heisman trophy, and I'm not going to apply to colleges in New England anymore (OK maybe not this one). So yes, being a New York sports fan is hard right now, it seems like our rival city has everything going for them, and it hurts, it hurts terribly. It makes you want to crawl into a cave, and stop drinking tea, and stop watching the Departed, and stop watching Jimmy Fallon look into the camera in every single SNL skit, but we can't let that happen. Because if we let that happen, then they really have won the battle between cities. And besides, everyone's success comes crashing down on them sooner or later. Think Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie etc. But the biggest parralel you can draw, is New England Sports fans and the O'Doyle family from Billy Madison. O'Doyle rules?



I think not.

Looking Forward to the Draft... in October

I can't really say that I'm surprised, but at the same time, this terrible display of football from the Jets still hurts terribly. It's like when you find out that the girl who you know is extremely far out of your league, really is out of your league. The girl in this case being the Superbowl, and me (or whoever) being the Jets. Not surprising, but still makes you angry.

good for nothin', cant play nose tackle or defensive end, quarterback

We all know about the 38-31 loss yesterday in Cincy. We all know about second half where the Jets couldn't respond to 21 points that were put up by Carson Palmer and the Bengals high octane offense. And we all know that it wasn't the defense's fault but rather Chad "Noodle Arm" Pennington's that Kenny Watson looked like Barry Sanders. At least that's what Jets fans want to believe. Buying into their own lies more than Marion Jones after the fifth time she told reporters she never used steroids. Woops.

The season is done. Try and repeat that to yourself until it sinks in, because to think that we can go 9-0 or 8-1 from here on out is an absurd thought. The Mets would have to be leading the AFC East in order for us to do that, instead the team leading the AFC East is the Madden team I assemble every single year, only they are real. So with the playoff's lost, the question now turns to, what is next? Here are a few things that I would like to see the Jets do this year.

- Start Kellen Clemens: I have always loved Chad Pennington. He is and always will be my favorite Jets player of all time, but the time has come for him to take the backseat. I would rather have Kellen Clemens go through growing pains in a season that is already lost rather than the '08/'09 season. Its Clementime.

- Start David Harris at MLB, move Jonathan Vilma to OLB: This guy is gonna be a stud. He is the second coming of Ray Lewis, and I say that only because I can't say he is the second coming of Jesus without getting at least a little bit of backlash. Move Vilma to the outside, he's too small to play on the inside of a 3-4. Start Harris and Victor Hobson on the inside with Bryan Thomas on the left, and you have a pretty good looking LB squad.

- Fire Bob Sutton: Yes, the personell he has to work with is nothing special (especially the D-Line), but there is no way Kenny Watson should rush for 3 td's and have over 100 yards on the ground against your defense. He's turned the defense into swiss cheese, only swiss cheese tastes good.

Among other things, these are what I would like to see the most. These changes wont save the season, but they'll at least keep me interested. Otherwise, I'm gonna start posting Mock Drafts which is the last thing I want to do. It's only October, and already I want the season to end. Jets fans are going to need a prescription for adderol pretty soon, the team is not interesting enough to stay focused. On the bright side, at least the Rangers season started.

And they're 2-4-1... shit.