Goodbye, New England Clam "Chow-dah"

This has been one extremely depressing sports year for me. Early in 2007 I traveled to Foxboro to witness the Jets - Patriots Wild Card Playoff game first hand at Gillette Stadium, and left with my tail in between my legs. Then, the Rangers went down in the Playoffs thanks to (at the time) Buffalo's Chris Drury with 7 seconds left. Then months later, the Mets treated me and the Shea Faithful to the biggest collapse in MLB history. Now, 7 games into the NFL season the Jets are all but finished, and the Patriots are trying to complete a perfect season with what may end up being the greatest football team ever assembeled. Like I have said to my cousin Ben, sports can make you feel as though you just pulled out of the driveway, and hit your dog.

But in 2004, when the Mets still stunk and the Jets lost in the Divisional Playoff game thanks to Herman Edwards crashing the metaphorical "bus" vs. the Steelers and killing everyone that was on it, I found peace in the fact that the Yankees (my most hated team at the time) lost to the Red Sox. Not only did they lose, but they blew a 3-0 lead, something that had never happened before in baseball history. It was moderately satisfying, yet a little pathetic. At the time though, it served as nyquill from the sports world. But now, things have changed. A New York sports franchise has not won a Championship since 2000 (Yanks over Mets), and since then the New England region has won 4 sports Championships, and if all goes well for them this year it will become 6. Enough is enough.

tom brady: posterchild for new england patriots; goat lover

I've reached the boiling point. I used to enjoy success from the Red Sox, however this does not happen anymore. I am so enraged by the Patriots fan base, and the entire Boston area fan base to as well, that I truly wish the Yankees could switch places with the Red Sox right now. There, I said it. If Mets fans would like to start calling me Benedict Arnold, then thats fine. History lesson sports fans, where was Benedict Arnold born? Norwich, Connecticuit. Where is Connecticuit located? New England. If Benedict Arnold were around today, would he be a Boston area sports fan? Yes. Case in point, Boston area/New England sports fans support traitors. Congratulations, you are all anti-American.

This was not an easy decision that I came to. I despise the Yankees, I always will. But now with this recent wave of success going to New England sports fans heads, every team from this hell-like region has become enemy numero uno. My hate has become so extreme, I will no longer acknowledge a few things that are in some way shape or form, associated with the New England area.

1.) Jimmy Fallon (movies and cd's)
2.) Dane Cook
3.) New England Clam Chowder
4.) Tea
5.) Hats that were made to look worn out and beat up
6.) The Departed (hardest thing to let go of)

this skit used to be funny. now? not so much

The list will continue to grow just like my hatred. I'm not going to feel happy for Red Sox fans whenever their team wins from now on, I'm not going to be rooting for Matt Ryan to win the heisman trophy, and I'm not going to apply to colleges in New England anymore (OK maybe not this one). So yes, being a New York sports fan is hard right now, it seems like our rival city has everything going for them, and it hurts, it hurts terribly. It makes you want to crawl into a cave, and stop drinking tea, and stop watching the Departed, and stop watching Jimmy Fallon look into the camera in every single SNL skit, but we can't let that happen. Because if we let that happen, then they really have won the battle between cities. And besides, everyone's success comes crashing down on them sooner or later. Think Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie etc. But the biggest parralel you can draw, is New England Sports fans and the O'Doyle family from Billy Madison. O'Doyle rules?



I think not.