The Bubble Gum Hat: A Lost Art

After beating the Phillies in the first game of a double-header on Friday, the Mets were up 5-1 on the Phils in the top of the 9th. Everybody in the dugout was clearly happy, as they were about to complete a twin bill sweep of their NL East rivals, but one player in particular looked especially happy. His name: David Wright.

introducing the devilishly clever, david wright

We all know Wright is one of the team's leaders, both in the clubhouse and on the field. We also know that Wright has a mischievous side, one he chose to use in the top of the 9th inning. How many times did Roger McDowell and the rest of the 1986 Mets play pranks on each other? Pretty often. And now-a-days, you'd be hard pressed to find someone playing a prank on another teammate, unless its the shaving cream pie to the face during an interview after the game. That's like switching everyone's name in a class when you have a substitute teacher. Amateur.

Well Wright brought back an old classic in the top half of the inning, the bubble gum on the hat. Only this one had a twist. The victim: Ramon Castro. How easy of a target is he though? He's got a head like a bucket (hence the name bucket head) and was spacing out more than Ozzy Osbourne during... well, every moment of his life, through out the entire game. Big deal right? Someone pulled a prank, why am I not talking about the game? Because everyone else will talk about the game, I'm hear as an expert on the art of a prank to bring you a step-by-step analysis of how David pulled it off. Let's begin.

Step 1) : Normally, this step would just be to find some bubble game, but instead Wright threw in a twist that was less expected than the Sopranos ending. He grabbed a cup, and at the top of the cup, he stretched out chewed bubble game over the opening. This made it so that he could stick the cup on top of Castro's hat. Simply genious.

note the placement of the cup

Step 2) : Wright got another piece of bubble gum, blew a bubble and stuck it on top of the cup that was already on Castro's head. The cup was green, so the bubble sort of served as a star on top of a Christmas tree. The only thing is Castro's head dwarfed the cup so badly that it may not have been a bad idea to get an actual christmas tree, stick some pine tar to the bottom and plop it right on top of the Ramon's bucket.

look at that form

Everyone in the clubhouse was in hysterics after Wright pulled off the unthinkable. Carlos Beltran who was chatting with Castro keeping him distracted almost had an outburst of laughter too many times. It was a close call and would've ruined the prank. I never would have forgave him. But when Castro did find out about the make-shift christmas tree sitting on his head, he couldn't figure out who did it, because everyone was laughing at him. Finally Wright owned up, and Castro looked a little annoyed, and by a little annoyed I mean his face turned red and he looked like he was gonna go "running of the bulls" all over Wright. I'm sure they kissed and made up.

This was definitley an original technique for this prank that David used. It just goes to show why he is the best young 3rd baseman in the NL. Yeah, you could argue that Miguel Cabrera has better numbers and is a better hitter, but what about the prank factor? Give the nod to D-Wright over anybody in that category. That prank alone should solidify his spart on the All-Star roster. And if it doesn't, stay tuned because the cigarette fire on the cleat may be up next. We'll have to bring in McDowell to disect that one though. For he is, the Jesus of all baseball pranks.

He could even prank Jesus himself.

(thanks to Pick Me Up Some Mets! for the pics)

Knicks Get Syracuse's Nichols

As if getting rid of Channing Frye for Zach Randolph wasn't enough, Isiah Thomas wasn't finished Thursday night. After a lot of moaning and groaning from this blogger, Thomas finally pulled off a deal to get the draft rights to Demtris Nichols from Portland. So, in recapping the draft, the Knicks got: Zach Randolph, Fred Jones, Dan Dickau, Wilson Chandler and Demetris Nichols. I truly am convinced that Isiah thomas either, a) sold his soul or b) David Stern is helping us out once again. It's basically like he told Portland that he'll rig the number 1 draft pick for them but they have to send over everyone other than Oden, Aldridge and Roy to the Knicks for two of the most hated players in NY. I'm not complaining, Stern helped us get Ewing.

the knicks got a 3-point threat and big time player in demetris nichols

As for Demetris Nichols, I can't believe I'm gonna be able to watch this kid play in the NBA for the Knicks. How often does the team you root for in the NBA draft a kid from the team you root for in the NCAA? Not very often, which is why this is so great. I feel like this is all an elaborate plan to go out and get another over the hill superstar like Vince Carter. Because that is something the Knicks would do, make a deal that makes no sense. Not building through the draft and trading for young studs like Randolph. That just isn't the NY way.

But maybe I'm wrong. They probably will hold onto these players, and as long as they have my boy Nichols on the roster it will be hard for me to get angry. Another thing, after reading more and more on Wilson Chandler, im becoming more and more convinced that this was the right pick. He reminds me of a poor man's Brandan Wright. If he can turn out to be a fraction of Wright when he isn't mailing it in, that would be more than we could ask for. One thing is also becoming evident, Isiah Thomas actually knows what he's doing now. This draft just served as a Zoloft for my NYK depression.

...at least for the off-season.

NBA Draft Running Blog

Waiting for the Draft to come all day was not an east task, so when 7:00pm hit I got pretty excited to say the least. It's kind of strange why Knicks fans like to inflict pain upon themselves repeatedly, but its sort of the New York way. Anyway, I sat down at my computer from 7:20-9:56 and here are my running thoughts during the draft.

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7:20 - Open it up with an Interview with Joakim Noah and he has easily outdone himself this time. His suit and tie-die colored bow tie are a joke. I’m glad Noah is representing NY, but this guy is way too cocky. Especially for an overrated prospect.

7:22 - Live Free or Die Hard commercial. I have to say, my enthusiasm towards that movie dies more and more with each commercial I see. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be there when it opens, but my expectations are currently on the level of this draft for the Knicks.

7:25 - Funniest joke of the night so far: Jordan says he thinks the Bobcats can make the playoffs.

7:26 - Jim Gray reports that the Golden State Warriors are now in the Kevin Garnett sweepstakes. I’m done listening to KG rumors until something actually happens. In the past two years, I’m pretty sure every NBA team has been rumored to be interested in his services at least once. So until something actually happens, I’ll be ignoring every KG rumor starting now.

7:32 - Draft about to start, and I would like to thank David Stern again for installing the 19 years and older rule for the NBA Draft. And also for over pronouncing the word extraordinary in his opening speech.

7:34 - A bunch of goofy white guys in a back room for the Trailblazers start celebrating and high fiving. Are you serious? This isn’t like somebody slipped to you, you have the first pick. You’ve known you were gonna draft Oden for the past day or so. But congrats... I guess.

7:36 - The pick is in. Portland takes Greg Oden, no surprise. Oden looks like he’s in the dentists office on his walk up to the podium. Oh wait, that would mean he’s excited seeing how he wanted to be a dentist and settled for the NBA. Tough luck, Greg.

7:40 - Greg Oden ACTUALLY looks like he’s happy now. Who else but Stuart Scott can put you in a good mood after you realized you can’t be a dentist?

7:41 - Seattle and Boston agree to a trade. Seattle get’s Boston’s #5, Delonte West and Wally Sczierbiak. Boston gets Ray Allen. The Celtics will select Jeff Green with their 5th pick then ship him to Seattle. Damn, thats either gonna work out really well or pretty badly for the Celtics. If you’re a Boston fan I feel bad for you. I apologize to Bill Simmons too because he is extremely upset, I can tell.

7:42 - Seattle selects Kevin Durant. Durant, Green and Rashard Lewis all on the same team. Look out for Seattle in 2-3 years. Personally I think Durant will prove to be better in the long run, but Oden’s going to have the fast impact which is what the Trailblazers needed.

7:45 - I haven’t seen a more confident rookie that was just picked than Kevin Durant in a while. Seattle has a winner right here, so let the nickname debate begin. We’ll start with KD.

7:48 - Atlanta selects Al Horford. So far everyone has landed where they were supposed to, except Ray Allen in Boston. Allen and Paul Pierce is gonna be absolutely interesting to watch next season, because it will be interesting to see if they can both co-exist on the same team.

7:49 - Memphis is on the clock... and nobody in Memphis cares.

7:52 - Grizzlies select Mike Conley from Ohio State. That’s a great pick for that team. Easily the best PG prospect in the draft, and he’ll also be able to help out Hakim Warrick and Pau Gasol.

7:53 - Boston is on the clock... and I’m still pissed off that Yi Jianlian is not going to be the pick.

7:57 - Celtics select Jeff Green, but he will be moved to Seattle. I still have a big time resentment for him because Demetris Nichols should have been the Big East player of the year. I aslo hate Georgetown. The only good thing that ever came from that school is Patrick Ewing.

7:59 - I gotta say, It’s pretty depressing that Jeff Green who is nicknamed the Green Monster is not gonna be playing in Boston. How perfect was that fit for him and for Boston?

8:01 - Transformers still looks absolutely awesome.

8:03 - Milwaukee selects Yi Jianlian. And the sports world lets out a huge roar of laughter. This man’s roof is pretty high, absolutely. However his bust potential is gigantic. Another thought, what happened the last time the Bucks selected an International Center? Andrew Bogut. And where are they with him now? The 6th pick in the NBA draft. Nice work.

8:04 - I’m seeing some videos of Yi and they’re not of him playing a 5'10 white guy or a dribbling around 6 cones. That’s gotta be at least a little comforting for those fans in Milwaukee.

8:06 - Andy Katz makes an excellent point, why the hell would Yi want to play in Milwaukee? This has holdout and contract debate written all over it.

8:07 - I don’t understand a word Yi Jianlian is saying, but if I could guess, it’s probably something like this... “I hate Milwaukee. Trade me now. I’d rather play for the Knicks. Why can’t I just play against a chair for the rest of my career?”

8:08 - The Yankees are reportedly interested in trading for Kevin Garnett.

8:09 - Stephen A. Smith is still yelling. And everyone is still afraid of him.

8:10 - Minnesota selects Cory Brewer, which basically means Kevin Garnett is gonna be gone at the end of the season. This also means that Joakim Noah is the last Gator at Madison Square Garden waiting to get selected. That should knock his ego down about... no pegs at all.

8:11 - Something I’ve heard from analysts after each prospect taken, “They need to get stronger.” No kidding? They just got out of college, the only person who is ok in terms of strength is Oden. Everyone else could stand to put on some muscle, and they will, like prospects always do.

8:12 - Michael Jordan pulls up outside of MSG in a golf cart after getting the phone call that he is team is on the clock.

8:15 - ESPN reminds me that the Knicks would have the #9 pick if it weren’t for the Eddy Curry trade. Thank you for stabbing me in the brain for the 95th time in the last 55 minutes.

8:18 - Brandan Wright goes to the Charlotte Bobcats, and another UNC player goes to the Bobcats. And again, Jordan selects a kid who shies away from contact, and plays on cruise control for 50% of the game. Similar to the Kwame Brown pick. Brandan Wright also declined to participate in any contact drills when he was working out for the Celtics. Probably the reason he fell to #8.

8:20 - I’m still pissed the Knicks aren’t on the clock right now.

8:23 - Bulls fans holding up signs that say, “Thanks Isiah!” Where is the You Suck! Chant when you need it?

8:25 - Bulls select Joakim Noah. If he was the best available player at #9 then I’m not really that pissed off. Think about it, at this point right now, Curry > Noah.

8:27 - Area of improvement for Noah? Strength. I would say area of improvement needs to be his modesty. This kid likes himself way too much. Honestly Noah probably wouldn’t be a top 10 or even a lottery pick for that matter if he wasn’t the energetic poster child for the two NCAA Championship winning Florida Gators teams. Outside of his decent defense and crazy energy he has a bad offensive game, terrible form on his jump shot and average passing. Overrated is an understatement. I also just don't like this kid, so my opinion is pretty skewed.

8:29 - Does anyone else find the new ESPY’s commercial with Jimmy Kimmel and LeBron James as hilarious as I do? “Can you vote... yeah I mean I kinda like... kinda voted for myself a million times.” The way he delivers that line is Oscar worthy. If I had to pick an NBA player to star in a movie out all of them who have a commercial, them being James, Kevin Durant, Gilbert Arenas and Tim Duncan, I’m taking LeBron hands down.

8:31 - The Baltimore Orioles are reportedly interested in Kevin Garnett taking over the head coaching job.

8:32 - Sacramento takes Spencer Hawes at #10. I like Hawes’ potential, may end up being a goody white guy, but he also has the potential to be a very good inside presence for the Kings. Good pick.

8:34 - Jay Bilas: “Not to nitpick, but his athletic ability is not that great.” Jay, ESPN has been nitpicking all night long. Spencer Hawes height, 7'0 3/4. Wow...

8:35 - Hawes tells us he needs to improve his strength. Everyone on ESPN now likes him because they think he’s honest.

8:36 - John Paxson the Bulls GM says Noah needs to work on his strength.

8:37 - My grandmother just called me and said she needs to work on her strength.

8:37 - Stephen A. Smith through the incoherent rambling actually makes a great point. The Bulls took Noah because he has high energy, the entire team is full of energy. And Noah is not a very good player. Done and done.
8:38 - Atlanta selects Acie Law IV. And now I’m pissed off because this guy could be a Knick right now. Screw you Isiah Thomas.

8:40 - In a world where sports jerseys are getting uglier and uglier, the new Hawks uni’s don’t actually look too bad.

8:46 - Philadelphia selects Thaddeus Young from Georgia Tech which is interesting because Sal Palontonio just reported that the Sixers were on the verge of taking Al Thornton. At least Thaddeus Young doesn’t have to improve his strength.

8:48 - Nick Young, Julian Wright and Al Thornton still on the floor at MSG. It’s always rough when someone who wasn’t at the draft gets selected before you.

8:54 - New Orleans selects Julian Wright. And no surprise he needs to work on his strength. What the hell is up with this? It’s becoming a joke at this point.

8:56 - Stuart Scott asks Julian Wright to do his best Stephen A. Smith impression and Wright says he isn’t sure how to do one. How hard is it to scream into a microphone and change the pitch of your voice every 2-3 seconds?

8:58 - Al Thornton no longer has to wait on the floor at MSG as the Clippers take him with the 14th pick. Mike Tirico tells us that Thornton used to be an aspiring football player so I don’t think we’re gonna have to worry about whether he needs to improve his strength or not.

9:01 - Thornton sounds eerily like Mike Tyson. It’s legitimately creepy.

9:02 - That ends the lottery picks which means my Knicks are coming up relatively soon. That also means that crying and cursing is coming relatively soon. I’m gonna try and prep myself but I really can’t promise anything.

9:05 - The Pistons select Rodney Stuckey which means Nick Young is now the last man left on the floor. That is a damn shame, but I’m a dreamer so I’m praying he falls to the #23.

9:07 - Jay Bilas says Rodney Stuckey needs to improve his strength. Oh good because I was worried he didn’t have to. This pick should work out well though because Detroit’s coaching staff emphasizes defense to the fullest extent and Rodney needs help with his defense. Should be a good match.

9:08 - My dreams come to a stuttering halt as Nick Young gets taken at #16 by Washington. Taurean Green is still the ultimate goal, but as long as Wilson Chandler is still on the board I’m not gonna get too worked up.

9:14 - I have a heart attack.

9:14 continued - The Knicks just pulled off a godly move. They traded Steve Francis and Channing Frye for Zach Randolph, Dan Dickau and Fred Jones. How the hell Isiah Thomas pulled this deal off without selling his sould is beyond me. This has officially become the greatest draft ever. The Knicks just unloaded a lame draft pick in Channing Frye and a huge contract in Steve Francis for a capable PG in Fred Jones and a 23 ppg. 10 reb. Player in Zach Randolph. This is absolutely unbelievable.

9:17 - The Nets select Sean Williams and I don’t care because the Knicks now have the best down low tandem in the East.

9:19 - Can we start the 2008 season? Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph down low is easily the best big man tandem in the East. Every Knicks fan should be over-freakin’-joyed right now and if you aren’t, something is wrong with you.

9:23 - Marco Belinelli is selected by Golden State. Too bad they don’t have Zach Randolph.

9:27 - Im guessing that the only reason the Trailblazers traded Randolph was to make room for Oden, because other than that I see no reason for them to deal him. This way though, Oden plays in the middle, they have Channing Frye who can play PF alongside him. I don’t care though, we now have Curry and Randolph down low. Too good.

9:29 - Lakers take Javaris Critton but that isnt the real news. Dick Vitale is freaking out because he’s worried Zach Randolph and Sean Williams won’t be able to adjust to the New York/New Jersey pressure and he also is angry about all the Kobe Bryant talk. He also used the word baby 10 times in 15 seconds. I love Dicky V, but he is clinically insane and nobody has realized it yet. Its sort of become the running joke over at ESPN.

9:35 - Miami Heat take Jason Smith with the 20th pick and that absolutely blows. Not because I wanted the Knicks to take Jason Smith, but because that means Wilson Chandler is still on the board. We have two more teams to take him before its our pick. We can only pray.

9:36 - I’ll be honest though, if we did take him I would be upset but It wouldn’t matter much since we now have Zach Randolph. Absolutely terrific.

9:40 - Talking with Matt Buccelli from Bleeding Blue and Orange we both are ecstatic over the Randolph trade. One thing we realized about the Bulls selecting Noah however is that his average skills are not going to be exposed because he once again is going to be on a winning team. I wish he got taken by Charlotte.

9:41 - Sixers select Daequan Cook from Ohio State who I would not have minded, but now apparently they’re flipping Cook to Miami for Jason Williams. That means nothing to me.

9:45 - Charlotte is on the clock and this is our last chance to get rid of Wilson Chandler, unfortunately my karma will be of no help since I just bashed MJ for his last pick. I don’t know, Brandan Wright will probably turn out to be a good player... right?

9:48 - Charlotte selects Jared Dudley out of BC. It looks like the Knicks are gonna be drafting Wilson Chandler. Disappointing, but I can deal with it.

9:49 - Take Taurean Green. You know you want to. C’mon Isiah.

9:50 - Spike Lee is hearing Wilson Chandler is the pick which pretty means its going down because Spike Lee is never wrong. Never wrong.

9:52 - The Knicks pick is in. And they select... Wilson Chandler. Dammit. On a night that absolutely awesome for the Knicks, I feel like this pick is pretty anti-climactic, and I hate to end a running blog this way but that’s how it has to go down. Not to say I don’t like the pick necessarily, but how much better would Taurean Green have been? Time will tell, but welcome to NY Wilson. Lets go Knicks, and good luck to the boys from ‘Cuse.

Depression of a Knicks Fan: Version NBA Draft

As most of you know, tonight is the 2007 NBA Draft hosted at Madison Square Garden. Now, the NBA Draft is almost always a depressing event for Knicks fans. Who can forget Scott Layden taking the French born Frederic Weis with the first round pick in the 1999 draft. Weis didn't even report to summer camp after being drafted, instead opting to stay in France and not sign with the team, one of the biggest draft day blunders in NBA history. Or even as recently as last year, with UConn PG Marcus Williams still on the board, Isiah Thomas and the Knicks opting to take Ronaldo Balkman instead. Well according to rumors, another blunder may be ahead of us.

ronaldo balkman version 2.0

According to the New York Post, the Knicks are extremely intrigued by DePaul's Wilson Chandler, a 6'8 SF/PF who has been labeled "versatile". Is this Deja Vu? Did we not just draft someone last year who was a SF/PF and labeled "versatile"? Well apparantley its ok, because Thomas told us that he was really impressed with Chandler's workout. So rest easy Knicks fans, if we draft Wilson Chandler the next time we play a group of 5'11 trainers and coaches, he'll drop 34 points.

I understand that Isiah has a fiery passion full love for Stephon Marbury, but when is he going to realize that Steph isn't a true PG? As long as he is running the point, the Knicks will never win anything. He's part of the problem not the solution, just like Mr. Thomas and Mr. Dolan. So my advice to the Knicks: Go out and draft a true PG who can come up with a big time shot when you need him to. Go find the next Chauncey Billups, or at least someone who knows how to win and will be a frsh air from Stephon "The Chucker" Marbury. Go get Taurean Green.

i mean, he is better than any pg we have on the team right now... because everyone is a sg

Taurean Green is the PG from the Florida Gators. Yeah, the same Florida Gators who won back to back NCAA Championships. Yes, the same Taurean Green who many experts said was the glue that held the nucleus of Horford, Noah and Brewer together. Green is a leader on the court, and is comfortable running the point, and he can run it effectively. Not only is he a good point guard, but the Knicks have needed an outside threat for a few years now, and other than Demtris Nichols from the 'Cuse, nobody is going to have an easier time transitioning to the NBA three point line. One of Green's strong points is also dishing the ball out in transition. Why did we draft Ronaldo Balkman? To have an advantage on transition. With Green, that advantage is realized. Maybe a little bit of a reach at #23, but it would be worth it.

Picking Green definitley makes the most sense. With Green the Knicks have someone who will be able to start within the next year or two, and someone who can be relied on because of his big game experience. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the pick to make. So naturally, the Knicks are going to select Kyryolo Fesenko from the Ukraine who just scored 125 points playing one on one against a recliner.

And still lost.

Good luck tonight to Demetris Nichols and Daryl Watkins out of the 'Cuse tonight who should both be selected in the 2nd round. The same round in which the Knicks don't have a draft pick. It just never stops...

Scott "F%#@&$n" Schoenweis

WARNING TO READER: THIS IS EXTREMELY LONG, ONLY THE FITTEST OF THE FIT WILL SURVIVE

Definitions you need to know for this article:
Illtastic (Ill-tas-tik): The art of being Ill to the 300th degree.
Whacktastic (Wak-tas-tik): The art of being whack to the 300th degree.

First of all let me start off by saying sometimes, as a fan, you need to give praise to an opposing pitcher where praise is due. Unfortunately for Todd Wellemeyer, his outing Tuesday night deserves absolutely no praise at all. If I were to give him praise for helping the Cards beat the Mets last night, I would have to start giving praise to Ben Affleck for writing Good Will Hunting which I'm just not ready to do. Tuesday started off with high hopes for me and my friend Matty B aka Bucc (head of Bleeding Blue and Orange) as we got ready to take Metro North into Grand Central. Oliver Perez was on the mound for the Mets, we were riding high off an extra innings walk off win from the night before, and the Hanson Brothers got the front page of this weeks Sports Illustrated. The only way things could have gotten better would have been if I was playing the Home Run Derby on MLB2k7 like those kids always do at Shea inbetween innings and get the chance to win a prize. I'll take all of them on, you know where to find me.

the 7 train is a multicultural slave ship... and i love it

Alright, for those of you who don't take Metro North into the city, let me drop some knowledge real quick. In the winter when you take the train down, it is extremely cold. In the summer if you take the train down, it is extremely cold. Not refreshing cold, but too cold. This was the only thing I could complain about though. Other than that there were no delays, no blackouts, no stick up's and most importantly no damsels in distress on the train tracks. It was safe to say we got to Grand Central relatively unscathed. We got to the subway terminal, and hopped on the 7 train after only waiting five minutes. Now don't get me wrong, I love being on the 7 train coming home from a win. 75 people crammed into a train car and 70 of them being Mets fans, it's safe to say some pretty funny insults get thrown around. The only problem is on the way there you're in the subway train longer than Paris Hilton serving her prison sentence. I think she got out while I was still on the 7.

So what is else there to do to pass the time except talk about the upcoming game and also the upcoming summer movies. Everywhere you go in the city now, you see a Harry Potter poster, or a I Know Pronounce You Chuck And Larry one. I would pay to see those movies if Harry Potter and his little goodtime buddy Ron Weasley switched places with Adam Sandler and Kevin James in their movie because then the secret homoerotic love tale that is the Harry Potter series will finally have some clarity, and seeing Kevin James do magic would make me laugh... a lot. We decided that both of those movies will be seen eventually, when they come to tv on TBS in six years. Then we saw the poster for probably the most illtastic movie that's gonna come out in a while. Transformers. Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for them to make this movie since I got on the 7 train at Grand Central Tuesday night. Cars turning into robots is probably the most amazing, genious, incredible idea anyone has ever had. Other than the decision to put a light in the fridge, but back to baseball...

this movie looks so good, id trade scott schoeneweis for a bootleg copy of it

We got 100 feet outside of the Willets Point - Shea Stadium stop when our Subway came to a halt. I looked at my watch; 6:50. We're fine, right? Wrong. We got off that Subway at 7:07. What a great message the Mets franchise has been sending the fans this past half year. "Don't Drive! Take the train to the game!" They make us believe that because of the contruction going on with Citi Field there's not enough parking for people to drive to the game, and so instead, we'll trap you on a Subway car for 17 minutes with conditions that resemble a slave ship and stick you inbetween a Monique look-a-like and her son, Pig Pen from Peanuts. Screw you, Shea Stadium. I saw at least 100 open spaces in only one section of the lot. Next time, I'm driving.

My animosity towards the Subways were gone soon after though, because entering Shea Stadium is always a thrill. The crowd is always energetic and enthusiastic, and you know it's gonna be a good atmosphere no matter what. For some reason however, each game I've gone to this year, there has been no energy, other than when they play that stupid soundclip "Everybody Clap Your Hands!" All of a sudden everyone wakes up. Cool. Ten seconds ago Sylvio Dante is more alert in his coma than the fully functioning crowd (at least i think they were fully functionally) was at this game. I don't understand it. We, along with a few others from my section tried to get the crowd going with a "Paul-Lo-Doo-Ca!" chant when he came to bat. Nothing. We did get a rise out of them when we scored a run in the first off a Beltran double, but the cheers quickly turned to boo's because the 2007 version of Mo Vaughn came up after David Wright and flew out to deep right with a runner on second. No surprise.

Oliver Perez was pitching well for the most part all night long, but he didnt bring his swagger to the mound like he normally does. Sorta how Lindsey Lohan has 3-degrees of personality: 1) drunk and all over the place, 2) hopped up on god knows what, and 3) completely hungover, the case is very similar with Perez. Lohan's no. 1 would be Ollie with control problems, Lohan's no. 2 would be Ollie as the spark plug, and Lohan's no. 3 would be Ollie pitching Tuesday night. Nobody wants to watch a tired, boring, reserved Oliver Perez, because that isn't who he is. And because of this, I think the Mets really lacked the fire that was needed to win the ballgame Tuesday night. But we didn't know that they were going to lose at the time, so this was more of an afterthought. The game had to go on.

we didn't see enough passion from perez, so instead we turned to the YOU SUCK chant

And just like the game continuing, so did the heckling of the Cardinals team and their fans all through the night. If someone can give me a better heckling chant than the, "YOU! SUCK!" chant, I will be shocked, saddened, and excited all at the same time. But that won't happen, because the chant cant be beaten. You can really tell it's working if you get underneath an opposing fans skin, for example. Two Cards fans walking up the steps in our section, completely decked out in red, were just asking for the You Suck chant. So like always, I pulled an MJ and came through in the clutch. We got through about the 5th cycle, when the blonde, who the Scott Rolen wannabe was with, stood up and gave me the finger. Normally, I would take this as an insult. In this case, it made me realize I was the captain of the mezzanine section, and I embraced it. By booing her.

Cue the 7th inning. Chris Duncan on third base, Brendan Ryan on first. Scott "I Shaved Some Man Hair, Dyed it Red and Glued it to my chin" Spiezio hits a line drive off of Heilman, it bounces towards Valentin at second base who picks it up, has it, still has it... drops it. Easily one of the most dissapointing moments for me as a Mets fan this year. We had them stopped and we were out of the inning, only Jose Valentin still had Mustache Wax on his fingers and so he dropped the ball. Dammit, that sucked. 1,2,3 in the bottom of the 7th. Inbetween innings i started thinking, Whatever happened to that blonde Cardinals fan? I started looking around and when I spotted her, the You SUCK! chant started up again. This time however she just laughed. Not cool, now I'm amusing her when I should be pissing her off. That's the end of the You Suck! chant for tonight. 8th inning, Cards score again off of Heilman... again and here come the boo birds. The Depressed-O-Meter just sunk from post-Brad Pitt Jennifer Aniston to, (Insert, name of any Emo band known to man, here). Then the people of Shea reminded me why I love them so much. They played Sweet Caroline.

A couple quick gripes about Sweet Caroline being played at Shea though: 1) Instead of the "BAHBAHBAH... Good times never seemed etc." they do "OH OH OH! Good times never seemed etc." Are you kidding me? Every Jets fan that was sitting around me was almost pissed off enough to not sing the song. But not quite. 2) They started the song at the chorus. I want the whole thing next time.

Sweet Caroline was great, and here comes the bottom of the 8th. Now I'm pumped thanks to the ever so appropriate lyrics and musical mastery of Neil Diamond, so even before Lo Duca hits the home run I'm out of my seat. As soon as he hits it, the entire stadium starts chanting his name. I got goosebumps from that, kinda cool. Fast forward to the 9th inning. Gotta give kudos to Shawn Green for drawing out a hell of an at bat to get that walk, and then big time kudos to Captain Willie for putting the Hebrew Hammer in motion with Jose Valentin up. After Valentin roped that triple, the stadium was electric. Everyone was out of their seat, the feeling of a win was there for the taking when we had runners on 2nd and 3rd with the ever so dangerous Julio Franco up to bat. Then we remembered Franco was up, and patiently waited for him to hit a weak ground ball to 2nd. And there it was.

lo duca brought christams to NY early with an 8th inning home run, only julio franco played mr scrooge

On to the top of the 11th, Willie Randolph makes everyone in the stadium question his IQ when he brings in Scott Schoeneweis over Joe Smith. I know Willie likes to go with the gut feeling when he makes his calls, but how could you have a left handed pitcher who can't get any big outs in a clutch situation come in to pitch to a right handed batter when you have a right handed reliever who's been stellar all season. Honestly, Schoeneweis makes Benedict Arnold look reliable. Well the inevitable happened as we all knew it would. Schoenweis serves up a homer to a career minor leaguer who in 4 years of service down at the farm, hit 6 career home runs. I hope that little fact is enough to make Scott Schoeneweis remove himself from anything that has to do with Queens.

The rest of the trip, pretty predictable. Mets lose 5-3, we miss our train because of extra innings, we get lost in the Village trying to meet up with my cousin and when we wake up in the morning we miss another train at Grand Central. Here's what is pissing me off though. How Julio Franco and Scott Schoeneweis are still on this team is completely beyond me. Julio Franco wont be able to get around on a fastball ever again in his entire life. Offer him a coaching job and be done with it. End of story. As for Schoeneweis, swallow your pride Randolph and Minaya because this guy hurts us more than he helps us. Schoenweis' record (0-2) and ERA (5.86) are bad enough, but the really telling stat, his WHIP is 1.81. That mean's every time Scott comes into the game you can bet that there's going to be at least 1 base runner, and more than likely even two. What a joke.

And I could vent for hours and write thousands of words about why these two blew the game, but I won't. Because when it boils down to it, Randolph blew this game. His stubborness to use veterans in big sports has hurt us in the past and Tuesday night it hurt us again. Who should he have used instead of Franco in the 9th? How about Damion Easley. You know, the Damion Easley who has hit two 9th inning home runs that helped tie the game for the Mets, and both games they went on to win. That one. Instead of Schoeneweis? Like I said, a right handed batter up, you bring in Joe Smith. It was really pathetic to see him coach like that, because I know he is much better than that. Don't get me wrong, I love Willie Randolph, but sometimes you just have to wonder what the hell is going through his head. Bottom line, cut Schoeneweis and pick up a new reliever. This bootleg version of Mike Stanton is 100% Whacktastic, and theres plenty of worthy replacements.

I hear Optimus Prime has a good WHIP.

Alexei "The Mullet" Cherepanov

...With the 17th pick in the 2007 NHL Draft, the New York Rangers select Alexei Cherepanov...

Did anybody else see this happening? A 17 year old who was considered by many to be a top 5 prospect in this years draft slipped all the way to the number 17 pick because people were worried about his work ethic. This pick may payoff big time for the Rangers, but it also could crash and burn. As it always is with big sniper forward picks like this, it's a real boom or bust, but with Cherepanov only 17 years old, the upside is huge.

welcome to NY Alexei, don't screw up or else we'll hate you! haha!... seriously

How many times did you watch Evgeni Malkin or Alexander Ovechkin play this past year and were just amazed by how exciting they are to watch? Too many times. And when you switched back over to the Rangers game to watch players like Marek Malik or Jason Ward, how many times did you consider throwing that dinner plate through the TV screen? Yeah, too many times. That's not to say the Rangers were a boring team last year. 2007 was one of the most exciting years known to memory for a fan, but we were lacking that exciting flash of lightning. That flash of lighting is Cherepanov.

Coming from Russia, Cherepanov has been considered to be the next All-Star Russian to play in the NHL in a line of forward stars like, Pavel Bure, Evgeni Malkin and Alexander Ovehckin. The fact that Cherepanov is being compared to the likes of these players is enough to make a Rangers fan forgive Glen Sather for being Glen Sather. (Almost... not really... not at all actually. Screw you Sather.) But what really can get you excited?

"I broke records held by players like Pavel Bure, Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin which was a great honor for me," Cherepanov said.

He was better than all of them while playing in the Russian Super League. He broke records that were held by each of them, and because of this Cherepanov was given the #17 (which ironically is his age and the spot he was picked in the draft, if that isn't a sign of all the stars aligning then god help me I will nuke the stars.) which was immortalized in Russia by the immortal Valeri Kharlamov. If his own country thinks this highly of him, there is no reason to doubt his ability as a fan who hasn't seen as much of him as his own country has.

It would be hard for someone to be angry at this pick, and already across the internet Islanders fans are trying to downplay the pick as if it were a mistake. Yes, picking someone who was a top 5 prospect at the number 17 pick is a mistake. Example #12,094 why Islanders fans suck: The envy that oozes out of their pores is actually fish greasel. Don't fratenize with Gorton's Fish Sticks. But as a Rangers fan, don't worry what other people are saying, this kid is one of a kind. The potential he has is scary to think about, and only time will show how great he actually will become. It's sort of like going to Vegas with 2,000 bucks and betting it all on black jack table where nobody had won anything the previous 16 games. The odds should be in your favor right? Right, only in this case, the chance of succeeding is much greater because of one key factor.

The return of the hockey mullet.

Lo Duca Suspended Two Games

Due to the unleashing of the Hulk Saturday night, Paul Lo Duca has been suspended two games by the MLB. WFAN reports that Lo Duca may appeal the suspension, in which case he would be eligible to play tonight vs. the Cardinals. My take on it is that if he does appeal, the outburst was not planned out, if he doesn't then it was.

The Broom: A Metaphorical Band-Aid

Well it's now safe to say that my depression has been alleviated thanks to the Mets sweeping the A's. This isn't to say that the team is now out of this slump that has been the month of June, but things are definitley looking up. The Mets outscored the A's 20-3 this series, completely dominating every aspect of the game, as well as releasing the secret weapon Saturday night: The Paul Lo Duca time bomb. After home-plate umpire Marvin Hudson called a low inside strike on Lo Duca, Paulie went Walnuts and started barking like one of Mike Vick's dogs repeating the phrase "You're not gonna like me when I'm angry!". After things seemed to have settled down Hudson threw Lo Duca out of the game as he stepped back into the box. This marked the return of Captain Red Ass. Throwing his bat and helmet onto the field, he stormed off in a rage followed by a Yard Sale which consisted of Lo Duca's chest protector, elbow guard, and knee pads. The bat boy bought everything.

Paul Lo Duca aka the Hulk aka Paulie Walnuts aka...

My take on the explosion: It was all planned out. The Mets had been flatter than soda from the back of the fridge all night long, and Lo Duca felt he needed to do something to wake the team up. He has been the most vocal about the lack of fire shown during games this season when being interviewed, and it seems like this is something he would do to motivate the team. That's my take. Lo Duca's take: "Good Italian temper in me." -- Lo Duca. Ok, so thanks to that quote, add a new nickname to the list for Dukie: Paulie Walnuts. Dukie has those crazy eyes that Paulie Walnuts from the Sopranos has, and they both have the temper of an ill-blooded Brooklynite. You don't mess with Brooklyn... we're pretty much a big deal. Add that to the fact they're both Italian blooded and sleep with girls a lot younger than them and they're practically the same person.

Paul Lo Duca: Version AARP

It was nice to see the bullpen pitch well also, which has been a rare occurance up to this point in the season. Everything seemed to be clicking on all cylinders unlike any game that had been played the previous three weeks. Lets just call this series a fresh of breath air after sitting in a pre-Inside Smoking law bar in New York City in which Leo Dicaprio's character from Blood Diamond was there meeting with every movie star from the 1920's to the 1980's. It was much needed to say the least. Only half the battle has been won though, with the Mets currently at 4-2 on the home-stand, as a fan you would like to see them go at least 7-3. This would mean we would have to take 3/4 from the Cardinals which is entirely possible seeing as the Cardinals have gotten worse than their fluke of a season last year if that is even possible. Seriously, an 83 win team winning the World Series?

Looking at St. Louis' starters they have Mike Maroth on Monday, Todd Wellemayer on Tuesday, Anthony Reyes who is 0-9 on Wednesday, and Adam Freakin' Wainwright on Thursday. We have everyone but Maine pitching for us in this series. Everyone would agree that we have the edge in every pitching matchup this series, except for Tim McCarver and Joe Buck whose opinions don't count because if I wanted an opinion from an incompetent hack I would ask Scott Schoenweis. ( Just kidding, I dont condone the opinion's of any kinds of hacks, especially incompetents.) And there is no denying that with Jim Edmonds and David Eckstein out of the Cardinals line-up the Mets have the offensive edge. I would love nothing more than to sweep them and go up 7-0 on the Cards in the season series. I also want to knock Adam Wainwright out of the game within 2 innings on Thursday and Carlos Beltran should feel the same way. The Cardinals coming to town is the perfect chance at revenge once again for the Mets, and if that doesn't motivate this team to buckle down and dominate a team I don't know what would.

painful memories due to Wainwright, the Mets will face him Thurdsday

Maybe we're starting to get a little hot, maybe this series was a fluke. But with the Cardinals coming to town for a four game series get ready to really see what this New York team is made of. This is a series the Mets should take 3 out of 4 in. Not have to, not need to, not possibly can, but they SHOULD take 3 out of 4 or else start sounding the alarms. Go get your tickets for this series now Mets fans, we need to back this team to the extent that the Entourage crew back's up Vince. And if you watched Entourage's Sunday night episode, it's safe to say Billy Walsh is becoming Paulie "Walnuts" LoDuca, and I'm not sure how much more of this show I can take. Start up the Ari Gold spinoff and wake me up when that happens because Jeremy Piven is the only actor who can actually... act on that show. Whatever, i'm still gonna watch it.

I will also be watching the Mets game at Shea this Tuesday night to see Ollie Perez in action. Cardinals fans, you've been warned.

Current State of the Mets

Check out the Bleeding Blue And Orange for a nice article on the current state of the 2007 Mets.

1973

After losing tonight to the Minnesota Twins, the New York Mets have now lost 6 consecutive series.

Holy Crap, what the hell just happened?

The only thing that can help us stay positive is this little ditty: The only other team to make it to the World Series in a season when they lost 6 straight series... the 1973 Mets. Unfortunately the Mets lost to the A's that year. And now that they still havent woken from this pathetic slump, I'm starting to have my doubts about whether this is the team or not. We need 2/3 from Oakland this weekend, and 3/4 from the Cardinals next week. If we lose both those series or lose to Oakland and split with the Cardinals, you'll be able to find me walking in Times Square crying and singing "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen!" stealing the naked cowboy's thunder. The only way things could get worse at this point would be if Omar brought in Jimmy Dolan for assistance in the trade market. Shoot me.

With all of this being said, I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to stay positive the same way Tom Hanks tried to stay positive in Philadelphia. Against all odds, you gotta believe. But if something doesn't change soon, this season may end more abruptly than the end of The Sopranos. Only when you think back on it, you want say, "Well, I guess it was a fitting way for the show to end." You'll say, "2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2007... I'd like to erase those years from my memory."

Panic attack. Are you ready?

Depression of a Knicks Fan, Vol. 1

After watching another season of bad Knicks basketball, I once again contimplated becoming a Nets fan as soon as the team moved to my old stomping grounds, Brooklyn. I would say I watched about 20-25 complete Knicks games last year, and during all of them I threatened Stephon Marbury at least twice, called Eddy Curry "El Matador" for his lack of defense, threatened James Dolan and told him I was this close to becoming a Celtics fan (just to spite him), and started a Trade Frye chant in my living room while my family ate dinner. I shouted these things at the TV. No I am not crazy. And one of my dreams may become realized.

ladies and gentlemen, the reason i cant sleep at night

After a rookie season that left room for some hope about the former Knicks number 1 draft pick, Channing Fry followed his rookie season with a sub-par sophomore year. A kid who is supposed to be a power forward, plays like he is a small forward and his mid range jump shot that was supposed to be automatic suddenly got colder than Mr. Freeze's jail cell in Batman and Robin. Somehow, due to the incompetent coaching of Isiah Thomas, Frye continued to get minutes. I was hoping this may have been a case of letting Frye get hot, then shipping him off for someone like Sebastian Telfair, because we all know how much Isiah loves his Starburys.

Frye never got hot. It's kinda like when you buy a pool and because heating it costs so much, you say to yourself, "Well, once the summer comes along, it will have to be hot for at least a week." And then you wait, and wait, and wait... and it's still freezing cold. And then comes the age old question, "What the hell happened?". Absolutely nothing, thats what. That is, until last night.

At a charity event that took place at Madison Square Garden last night, Channing Frye was present. During the games and fundraising activities, Frye lined up for a half court shot. I saw the replay, and Frye took about 3-4 jogging strides, and did a little hop skip and a jump, and let it fly Teresa Witherspoon style. Bam, right in the hoop. This was the moment Knicks fans had all been waiting for, the moment that Channing Frye finally regained trade value.

Oh man, it is a thing of a beauty. The pieces of the puzzle are falling into place for the Knicks to go out and get Jermaine O'Neal or Kevin Garnett. And no, I don't want Kobe in NY. Great player? Yes. Worth all the whining? No. Imagine having someone like KG along side Eddy Curry? El Matador wouldn't matter any longer because KG's defense would make up for Curry's sluggish movement. KG's 20 rebound game's might wear off on Curry, and maybe he'll learn how to box out... ok, probably not but we can always wish. Jermaine O'Neal and Eddy Curry would just make a well rounded scoring machine of a team. Down low, nobody in the East would be able to compete with the Knicks if they were able to get these guys, so here are some trade ideas:

Jermaine O'Neal Trade:
Pacers Get: Jamal Crawford, Channing Frye, Renaldo Balkman
Knicks Get: Jermaine O'Neal, Orien Greene

Kevin Garnett Trade:
T-Wolves Get: Jamal Crawford, Channing Frye, Jared Jeffries, Mardy Collins
Knicks Get: Kevin Garnett, Troy Hudson

Yes, maybe these trades may not make the most sense, but the Knicks need another big presence, and one that can rebound and play defense, unlike our scoring machine El Matador. Most importantly though, the Knicks need to get rid of Channing Frye.

Or else I'm becoming a Celtics fan, Mr. Dolan.

Leon Washington 64 Yard Catch and Run

after throwing out the first pitch in tonights Mets game, i searched youtube for this play on the Jets lone Monday Night Game on Christmas last year. No Jets fan could forget this play setting up Nugents GW FG. Gotta love Neon Leon runnin' train on the Dol-expletive-'s

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

I mean... we just looked bad. I mean really, bad. Really, Really... bad.

4 Errors, no runs, 4 hits. Granted Johan Santana was on the mound and looked about as hittable as Koufax, there's no excuse for poor pitching and poor play in the field. I would say hats off to the Twins, but we just sucked tonight so forget that, I wont lose graciously until we get out of this slump. And by the way, the slump isn't over until I proclaim it is. I will let you know when that is.

Positives From Tonight:
-Leon Washington threw out the first pitch to Aaron Heilman. After Heilman caught the pitch, he went out to the mound to shake Neon Leon's hand and asked him how he throws his change-up. Heilman took notes.
-I somehow watched the entire game.
-Pizza is really good, the Mets tonight... not so much.

The Delgado Factor:
1 Error, 0-3, 1 LOB.

The Goat Award:
Carlos Beltran, for Air-Mailing that throw to third trying to throw out Hunter in the top of the 2nd. The Twins went on to score 5 runs that inning, and I went on to dial out profanities directed at Mr. Beltran 5 times as well. Beltran was also 0-4.

Jets Too Physical, May Miss Last Week of OTA

According to Newsday, the Jets may end up being sanctioned by the NFL Players Association because of contact drills between offensive and defensive linemen that have been going on in the Jets off-season Mini-Camps. According to NFL regulations, there are to be no drills in OTA's during the off-season that involve any sort of contact. This information was apparantley leaked from someone in the Jets camp, which begs the question... who was it?

But do you really have to think that hard? Who was holding out on the Mini-Camps because he wanted a new contract? Who had complained last year that Mangenius was running practices that were "too hard and tough" on the Vets? Although you may think Coles (who complains about practice more than Allen Iverson, but doesn't rap about it) would be someone who would leak this info, I highly doubt it. Unless Laveranues is so un-interested in the Widereciever drills that he worries about his buddies on the O-Line, the rat has to be Pete Kendall.

Pete Kendall without the mask

So, even though we dont have 100% assurance that it is in fact this rat who is leaking information to get back at the organization, we know we are in good hands because:

A) Tangini really is not trying to give this over the hill stubborn overrated LG a new contract extension that he wants, so he will probably be gone before the season starts anyway.

B) In the Mafia, how do made-men deal with Rats? They whack them. Was our fearless leader Eric Mangenius not just on the Sopranos? He was. Make the call to Italy.

C) Joe Andruzzi is going to be in the Green and White and taking Kendalls spot on the roster for next season anyway, and Joe Andruzzi is a much cooler name than Pete Kendall. Kendall sounds like someone off of Leave it to Beaver.

So my message to Pete Kendall, if you wanna cry about drills being too physical, go play for the Patriots because we all know that Brady is softer than a pillow. The only thing you'll be protecting him from is credit card charges (anyone else remember that commercial with Brady and his o-line at the restaurant table?).

I smell a rat.

An Open Letter To Carlos Delgado

Dear Carlos Delgado,

this picture summarizes your season, Mr. Delgado

I understand that there is a lot of pressure when you play in New York. I understand you aren’t the player you used to be. And I also understand, that you are batting .197 with RISP. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the clean-up hitter supposed to be the one who gets the runners on base home? Hence the name, clean-up hitter. Well, as is evidenced by your .197 average with RISP, this has not been the case so far this year. So I am writing to tell you that until you hit above the Mendoza line, I will not acknowledge your existence nor will I applaud you. I will probably boo you, actually. I am also going to start tallying the games that you cost us, and at the end of each night I will post how many runners you left on base, and how many runs you cost us. Time to, clean-up, your act. (See what I did there?)

With a minimal amount of love, gNYS?

New Mets Blog

Hey everyone, check out a friend to gNYS?'s blog, Bleeding Blue And Orange.

Gracias.